Obituary of Nico Sidoti

As I look at this Share A Memory opportunity for our beloved Nico, I find it hard to share one. It’s not because I’m void of enough experiences or anecdotes concerning Nico to contribute. It’s that my admiration for him goes beyond one story. Nico is that friend we have in our lives that is similar to those intriguing characters you witness from novels. Some of these literary titles have characters who appear in multiple scenes, scattered around and every time they appear, happiness enters. Nico’s “appearances” have a pattern for me. Each moment reveals uniqueness, charisma, and passion. I can’t remember the exact date, but I remember the moment. It was sometime in the early 80’s at the Oneonta Hotel, which is not really a hotel, but a downtown apartment housing unit where a lot of us undergraduates found ourselves lodging to experience a euphoric, family of friends vibe, cooking meals for each other like we are at home with our mom’s and dad’s at the dining room table, blasting rock and roll from our speakers with really good music as we get showered and ready to go downtown for the Friday and Saturday nights that this college town is famous for. We shared friends together, had more fun cracking each other up and laughing constantly than studying for that crazy Multinational Corporations class we were sharing a textbook together for, but instead spent nights before exams “clubbing” at the Dark Horse Saloon. The night I met Nico he was wearing a classy, decades-old style gray Fedora with the black band. Mine was the Indiana Jones version, but his was more fitting for his dark brow, deep set eyes, and strikingly handsome face. Why did we love these hats so much? Few people wear these things. We put them on our heads because we wanted to be noticed. Nico and I, sharing the same circle of college buddies began bonding, in ways that comfortable friends do. Nico is in that category of friends, that dynamic that exists where months of time can go by, but the moment we are together in the same room, no time has elapsed whatsoever from the last shared experience, a true friend. This dynamic happens for us in a very wonderful way. After 1988, I moved away from New York seeking employment in the Entertainment Industry for a new mid 20’s life change, better weather, and a dream to “make it in L.A.” So how am I remaining closely connected to Nico? Our childhoods merged! He’s from Queens and I’m from the Five Towns; however, my first L.A. roommate, stemming from Nico’s amazing ability to be a spiritually connected, sensitive, caring friend he is, did everything in his power to get us and his childhood friend David Radin together, since the two of us coincidentally decided to leave our New York roots behind and start this West Coast journey. It was Nico’s outreach that created another friendship, which has had a lasting impact on me. If you’ve read my “Share A Memory” piece this far with all these words, then you deserve to hear the truth about Nico. The only reason why Nico kept me close in his heart as a cherished friend is because I never once voted for a Republican. Don’t think because he and I have Buddy and David together in this decades-long friendship has any bearing here, no. Nico loves how I enjoy hearing his latest conspiracy theory with open ears. It may not be an open mind, but it’s definitely open ears. No matter the conspiracy theory Nico has come up with this week, I never stop listening to his arguments even though he’s nuts. I try shooting holes in some of his crazy, paranoia-ridden rants, but not once have I stopped listening. He’s alway got a good point and it’s so great to listen to him when he’s on a roll. Passion and Schtick. One’s a personality trait, the other, is play-acting. Nico and I love to laugh, satirize something, anything that pops in our heads in our existential moments of time. I have Nico’s voice and his howling, cackling sound he makes when laughing at something absurd forever in my head. Nico, spiritually connected friend, you were there for me when you had dinner and stayed with me and my family that night after witnessing my Dad’s tribute at the School of Visual Arts’ Theater a few years back. Why is this moment etched in my memory, so vividly? I had expressed earlier here when I spoke how easy Nico and I can just weave in and out of our lives after time lapses. He didn’t come up to me that night. He took in the room, experienced my father’s legacy, watched from afar my conversations with my immediate family and some after-event stragglers in the lobby who were now discussing where to grab a bite to eat. “NIco!” I shouted. “Get over here.” A big hug followed, of course, the reactive “I can’t believe you’re here. Amazing!” And then, we sat next to each other at this big table, my family and my Dad’s friends taking up some New York real estate in that diner. Once again, we spiritually connected, and those years apart and hundreds of miles separating us, all disappeared…again.

My friend, my brother, kind and gentle. Rest in peace. I will keep our countless memories alive in my mind and remember how lucky I was to know u.